Etiquette Consulting Inc

Tools to help you avoid Social Faux Pas

In a world where image is everything, you must make your brand stand out in order to attain your goals.

Jules Hirst, Etiquette Expert

10 Tips on How to “Talk Politics” When There is No Escaping it!

Politics in the Workplace

We should all know we never speak about “Pol­i­tics” at the din­ner table, at a gath­er­ing with fam­ily or friends, the office, but what are you to do when there is no escap­ing it. Here are 10 tips writ­ten by Diane Gotts­man of The Pro­to­col School of Texas.

1.  Allow the other per­son to state his or her opin­ion - Don’t inter­rupt – allow oth­ers to make their feel­ings heard.

2. Ask ques­tions – Even if you dis­agree with the com­ments of oth­ers, show respect by ask­ing per­ti­nent ques­tions. You may be sur­prised to learn some­thing new!

3.  Keep your voice down to a low roar- Don’t allow your­self to get worked up and start a shout­ing match with your cowork­ers or din­ner guests.

4. Edu­cate your­self on impor­tant issues – It’s impor­tant to at least be famil­iar with the beliefs and plat­form of each can­di­date to allow for knowl­edge­able dis­cus­sion. Remem­ber, being well-informed is always best!

5.  Don’t take it per­son­ally – Keep the dis­cus­sion in per­spec­tive and ask your­self how much anx­i­ety and con­flict you are will­ing to undergo at the office or with friends by argu­ing over who the bet­ter can­di­date may be. Never resort to name call­ing or shame tac­tics, “I can’t believe you are that ignorant!”

6.  Vote – it’s a cop-out to say, “I don’t like any of the can­di­dates so I’m not going to vote” – if you don’t vote for some­one, any­one, you have no room to complain.

7. Pol­i­tics is not off lim­its at a din­ner party or social event – be pre­pared! You can answer with “I’m off polit­i­cal debate duty tonight – argue amongst your­selves” and opt out or jump in and make your point. Do what feels right but always keep in mind you are a guest and don’t want to offend your host.

8. Keep it clean – Use your best judg­ment and keep your inter­ac­tions civil – you host will thank you for not incit­ing fur­ther furor among his or her guests.

9. Don’t assume that every­one wants to talk pol­i­tics – Ask­ing some­one how he or she intends to vote in the elec­tion is inva­sive unless the infor­ma­tion is offered first.

10.  Use your sen­si­tiv­ity train­ing – Be mind­ful of how you are mak­ing oth­ers feel by voic­ing your strong opin­ions and avoid monop­o­liz­ing the entire con­ver­sa­tion with pol­i­tics. Have other con­ver­sa­tion top­ics handy in your con­ver­sa­tional arse­nal to pull from when the con­ver­sa­tion is too heated.

A TITLE IS EARNED.… How to Address a Retired Lt Col

Fox News Channel’s The Five, co-host Bob Beckel expressed his dis­plea­sure with Rep­re­sen­ta­tive Allen West’s com­ments about the Democ­rats at the Lin­coln Day Din­ner. Mr. Beckel con­tin­u­ously referred to Rep­re­sen­ta­tive West as Mr. West while crit­i­ciz­ing his views. Co-host Eric Bowl­ing cor­rectly pointed out to Beckel that he should be refer­ring to Allen West as Rep­re­sen­ta­tive or Lt Col Allen West because he had earned both titles.

Here is what eti­quette states:

Although Rep­re­sen­ta­tive or Congressman/Congresswoman are not tra­di­tional hon­orific titles, they do express the person’s cur­rent posi­tion and can be used to refer to the person.

The for­mal form of Mr. (name) or Ms. (name) should be used when address­ing an enve­lope as shown below.

Enve­lope, offi­cial:
The Hon­or­able
(Full name)
United States House of Rep­re­sen­ta­tives

The proper form for Lieu­tenant Colonel would be Lt Col with­out peri­ods. You do not need to use Retired unless you were address­ing an offi­cial enve­lope. In which case you should use “…

Clark­son, USAF Retired” or “…Clark­son, USAF Ret.”

See exam­ples below for the dif­fer­ences between an offi­cial enve­lope and a social envelope.

For­mal forms for an “offi­cial” enve­lope would be:
    Lieu­tenant Colonel Joe M. Clark­son, USAF, Retired
    and Mrs. Clark­son
For­mal forms for a “social” enve­lope would be:
    Lieu­tenant Colonel Joe M. Clark­son
     and Mrs. Clark­son

    Lt Col Joe M. Clark­son
     and Mrs. Clark­son

Whether you agree or dis­agree with some­one, you should show them the proper respect by refer­ring to them using the title(s) they have earned.

A Lesson in Social Etiquette: It is said that any publicity is good publicity.

Public Relations_Social EtiquetteIt is said that any pub­lic­ity is good pub­lic­ity. Appar­ently PR reps in NYC are try­ing to get pub­lic­ity for their events in cre­ative ways. They have asked blog­gers to post about their events after the fact and not hav­ing invited them to attend. Christo­pher Kouli­uris, a NYC social scene blog­ger for, is appalled by this and has writ­ten an enter­tain­ing post on his blog about it. Check out the post and let me know your thoughts.

For those of you who are reg­u­lar read­ers of my (mis)adventures of carous­ing the NYC soci­ety set– you’ve prob­a­bly gone away with the impres­sion that I live some sort of glo­ri­ous glam­orous life. How wrong you all are, except for the occa­sional cock­tail, inspir­ing guest, cause or lin­ger­ing glance of some femme fatale who really should know bet­ter, can­vass­ing the NYC social land­scape as a reporter is a thank­less task.

Thank­less because of the demands imposed on keep­ing a tight jour­nal (which means whilst you all sleep coco pops away I’m up invent­ing clever drib­ble and upload­ing images after images of peo­ple who always seem to be too happy). But today I can tell you my task of being a soci­ety reporter has just become 17 notches more mis­er­able. Why you won­der? Because I want every pub­li­cist who has ever had the good idea to find me to scratch me off their go to media list take a few steps back. Not because I don’t like pub­li­cists (I like quite a few of you if you must know) but because of the cal­cu­lat­ing nature of the way some of you behave and the con­niv­ing games so many of you rel­ish in (but why?).

So let’s get to the meat of the mat­ter. In the space of 7 days I, this scoundrel, received no fewer than 117 10 soci­ety event invi­ta­tions as my capac­ity as a soci­ety reporter (what­ever soci­ety means any­more and what­ever it is us soci­ety reporters are sup­pose to do any­more blah!). Out of those I prob­a­bly I only both­ered attend­ing 3. Okay, so far we’re all happy. Now here’s where the jig comes in, dur­ing those same 7 days I also received 400 9 event post press releases with pro­pa­ganda jar­gon and accom­pa­ny­ing pic­tures, get ready to catch this– to events that I or the jour­nal wasn’t invited to but pas­sively expected to pub­lish regardless.

So let’s get this straight, I get invites to events and if I feel as pub­lisher we should cover them we do. But now not only am I get­ting the usual invites, I am now get­ting more non invites to events that I wasn’t invited to attend solely for the intent that some pub­li­cist can use me as a mar­ket­ing con­duit for their pay­ing client.

This of course gen­er­ally comes with a care­fully worded tip sheet (cause we all need to metaphor­i­cally know the client has a penis 78 times big­ger more cache than you and I could ever hope to have ) with select accom­pa­ny­ing pic­tures of mar­velously happy peo­ple. How they always man­age to be happy beats me, but then again who can really under­stand the aspi­ra­tions of most media whores? (milk the cam­era boy for as much pub­lic expo­sure then go on to hope­fully milk an appear­ance deal or at least self jus­ti­fied social standing).

Now if you were in my posi­tion how would you respond? Would you acqui­esce and just post said pro­pa­ganda pieces (and I know quite a few of you blog­gers that do, but I wont men­tion names this time, cause last time I embar­rassed you all gave me dirty looks for weeks to come, but you copy and paste blog­gers we all know who you are or would you do what I do which is stand up for yourself?

Now the polite thing would be to ignore the emails and just pay them offend­ing pub­li­cists no mind. But I am afraid as some of you have to come to find out, I don’t tol­er­ate bad form too well (espe­cially after one pub­li­cist had me uncer­e­mo­ni­ously thrown out of one event ear­lier this year and another threat­ened to sue me for exer­cis­ing my jour­nal­is­tic rights). And if I must I will gather you up and expose your treach­er­ous ways. Which reminds me about the phone call I received Sun­day night (8.09pm) from a cer­tain infa­mous paparazzo who I sev­ered ties with in early Octo­ber who threat­ened to beat the crap out of me (accord­ing to sources this is his usual way of intim­i­da­tion, never mind the taped mes­sages) if I went to press with a story doc­u­ment­ing his shady crash­ing ways that most pub­li­cists can tell you about and have emailed me about (paparazzo the story will be up soon– promise).

Which brings me to the above arbi­trary sam­ple from one pub­li­cist. Let’s all read it together:

photo taken from Scal­ly­wag & Vagabond

So please ladies and gen­tle­men of the pub­lic rela­tions world– start treat­ing us soci­ety reporters with respect, even allo­cate a por­tion of your bud­get for us to cover your event prod­uct place­ment (really that’s what it amounts to) and we too will give you a per­fect pr write up that your client can be proud of. Or on the other hand approach us with respect and ask us if this is some­thing we would con­sider writ­ing about, assum­ing it reflects one’s jour­nal edi­to­r­ial gambit.

source:Scallywag & Vagabond

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