Etiquette Consulting Inc

Tools to help you avoid Social Faux Pas

In a world where image is everything, you must make your brand stand out in order to attain your goals.

Jules Hirst, Etiquette Expert

Why do we follow protocol when meetng the Queen?

With all of the atten­tion Pres­i­dent Obama’s Royal Mishap when toast­ing the Queen has been receiving, here is a great arti­cle that gives some insight on why we fol­low pro­to­col when meet­ing the Queen?

Pres­i­dent Barack Obama raised eye­brows when he con­tin­ued speak­ing dur­ing the national anthem with com­men­ta­tors sug­gest­ing pro­to­col had been breached. But what is royal pro­to­col and is it necessary?

Barack Obama was prob­a­bly not aware that he was doing any­thing unusual when mak­ing a toast “to the Queen” and then con­tin­u­ing with a short speech. Accord­ing to pro­to­col, how­ever, he should have stopped after the toast.

The band, tak­ing its cue from the word Queen, struck up with the national anthem leav­ing the pres­i­dent strug­gling to make him­self heard.

What hap­pens when the Queen is toasted is all part of pro­to­col, an elab­o­rate set of cus­toms and rules that gov­ern inter­ac­tions with the British royal family.

Some fuss was also made dur­ing a pre­vi­ous visit by the Oba­mas, when Michelle put her arm around the Queen, another pro­to­col breach.

Mrs Obama’s action echoed sim­i­lar slip-ups by Aus­tralian prime min­is­ters. In 2000, John Howard appeared to have put his arm around the Queen, but that was as noth­ing com­pared to the furore caused by Paul Keat­ing when he put his arm around the Queen dur­ing her 1992 tour of Aus­tralia, and was dubbed “the Lizard of Oz”.

Michelle Obama took the unusual step of hug­ging the Queen dur­ing the First Lady’s pre­vi­ous UK visit When meet­ing a royal, there are rules about who can speak first, where to look, what to call them, how you should stand and when you should sit. It is a mys­te­ri­ous busi­ness to the uninitiated.

But it stems from a time when mon­archs were accorded an almost divine sta­tus and had to be treated accordingly.

From medieval times, mon­archs were divinely appointed to rule by God, so they were kind of seen as gods, so they demanded to be treated as gods,” says Dr Kate Williams, a his­to­rian at London’s Royal Hol­loway university.

They are treated as peo­ple set apart from the rest of us, so pri­mar­ily what it is cre­at­ing is dis­tance and grandeur.”

In short, says Dr Williams, “you don’t kiss them, you don’t touch them, you bow — over and over again.”

But in an era when a woman with ances­tors who worked in the coal mines can become a princess, does royal eti­quette really matter?

The reac­tion to Mrs Obama touch­ing the Queen in 2009 would sug­gest it does to some people.

Meet­ing the Queen may never be the same again after an extra­or­di­nary show of affec­tion with Michelle Obama,” wrote Andrew Pierce in the Daily Tele­graph in 2009.

For David Miller, direc­tor of Debrett’s, royal eti­quette is a help­ful set of instruc­tions to show peo­ple how to behave in an unfa­mil­iar social setting.

It’s a code of con­duct in terms of the way in which peo­ple behave at occa­sions and even­tu­al­i­ties that they do not encounter on an every­day basis,” he says.

Yes, it’s wrapped up in his­tory and tra­di­tion, but it’s also prac­ti­cal, uni­ver­sal and there to avoid embarrassment.”

Royal pro­to­col can be viewed as an expres­sion of respect for the Queen.

William Han­son, a pro­to­col expert who trained staff for the lux­ury liner Queen Mary II, says the Queen, with all she has been through, her unique per­spec­tive and posi­tion in the nation’s his­tory, deserves the respect she is afforded.

It’s because we respect her and what she stands for — she stands for all that is great in British soci­ety,” he says.

But there is evi­dence that things are becom­ing more relaxed.

Jen­nie Bond spent 14 years nego­ti­at­ing royal pro­to­col as a part of her job as royal cor­re­spon­dent for the BBC.

I don’t think that they are as hot on eti­quette as most peo­ple think they are,” she says.

They like peo­ple to curtsy, but you’re always told at royal brief­ings that it’s up to you. As a jour­nal­ist, I never did.

All this thing about not speak­ing to the Queen unless you’re spo­ken to, I don’t believe that, I always used to tell her jokes.”

Dr Williams says royal eti­quette has adapted to reflect the shift in what we expect from our royal family.

I think it is chang­ing, I think in the ear­lier period peo­ple wanted their monarch to be set apart from them, that’s what they wanted, they wanted some­one more pow­er­ful [to pro­tect them],” she says.

We’re less and less engaged with the idea of a monarch being dis­tant. For exam­ple, Princess Diana gained pop­u­lar­ity because she was so much less formal.”

But Mr Han­son believes eti­quette still has a role to play, beyond royal cir­cles as much as within them.

These things mat­ter, espe­cially when you’re doing busi­ness with east­ern coun­tries such as China, where they take it even more seri­ously than Britain,” he says.

The Japan­ese, the Chi­nese, the Mid­dle East­ern coun­tries, are more con­cerned with pro­to­col day-to-day.”

Mr Han­son sees a deeper impor­tance behind the prin­ci­ples of etiquette.

If you get the lit­tle things right, all the other things fall into place. It’s about respect and def­er­ence in soci­ety, and that is what we’re lacking.”

As for the recent faux pas by Mr Obama, Mr Han­son says: “It’s not going to spell the end of cor­dial rela­tions between Amer­ica and Britain, but it’s always nice to get these things right.”

Source: BBC News

President Obama’s Royal Mishap When Toasting The Queen

Yes­ter­day Pres­i­dent Obama began a toast to the Queen at the wrong time as a result “God Save The Queen” was play­ing dur­ing his toast. Pro­to­col states that the toast is to be given after “God Save the Queen” is played.

“And now I pro­pose a toast to the Queen,” Pres­i­dent Obama began, but only got as far as “To the vital­ity of the spe­cial rela­tion­ship” before “God Save the Queen” cut him off.

He con­tin­ued to give his toast and raised his glass say­ing “To the Queen” she smiled, but beca­sue the song was play­ing no one drank from his or her glass includ­ing the pres­i­dent he put his glass down on the table.

Once the song was over every­one raised their glass.

Clinton’s human rights remarks against diplomatic etiquette

http://www.forajulproductions.com/business_etiquette.htmlAn intrest­ing arti­cle where US Sec­re­tary Hillary Clin­ton has been accused of mak­ing remarks that are improper for a diplomat.

Ana­lysts on Thurs­day crit­i­cized US Sec­re­tary of State Hillary Clinton’s remarks on human rights in China as “totally improper and impo­lite” for a diplomat.

The com­ments made by Clin­ton go against “diplo­matic eti­quette,” Zhang Shengjun, a pro­fes­sor of inter­na­tional pol­i­tics at Bei­jing Nor­mal Uni­ver­sity told the Global Times.

Clin­ton claimed in an inter­view with the Atlantic Monthly pub­lished Tues­day, the sec­ond day of the third round of China-US Strate­gic and Eco­nomic Dia­logue (S&ED), that China had “a deplorable human rights record” and feared the polit­i­cal upheaval in the Mid­dle East and North Africa might spread.

They’re wor­ried, and they are try­ing to stop his­tory, which is a fool’s errand,” she told the magazine.

James Palmer, a British his­tory scholar liv­ing in Bei­jing, told the Global Times that “Fool’s errand” are harsh words, which are very unusual for diplo­mats to use.

It’s wrong for Clin­ton to com­pare the sit­u­a­tion in the Mid­dle East to that of China because the issues China is faced with are totally dif­fer­ent than those in other regions,” Ni Feng, direc­tor of the Insti­tute of Amer­i­can Stud­ies at the Chi­nese Acad­emy of Social Sci­ences, told the Global Times yesterday.

Wash­ing­ton has recently stepped up its rhetoric on China’s human rights, as Chi­nese ana­lysts say the Obama admin­is­tra­tion is cater­ing to pub­lic pres­sure within the US by using the issue to press China dur­ing the S&ED.

The US has no eco­nomic and strate­gic choices to press China so human rights is nat­u­rally the only thing it could use at the moment,” Yuan Peng, direc­tor of the Insti­tute for Amer­i­can Stud­ies at the China Insti­tute of Con­tem­po­rary Inter­na­tional Rela­tions, told the Global Times.

China Tues­day dis­missed the accu­sa­tions by the US, stat­ing that no coun­try is per­fect on human rights and China is ready to con­tinue to engage in dia­logue, enhance under­stand­ing, reduce dif­fer­ences and expand com­mon ground on the basis of equal­ity and mutual respect.

China said on Thurs­day that tol­er­ance and com­mu­ni­ca­tion are vital for a har­mo­nious Sino-US rela­tion­ship that not only serves the fun­da­men­tal inter­ests of both sides, but is also con­ducive to the peace and sta­bil­ity of the Asia-Pacific region.

The Asia-Pacific is one region where the two coun­tries’ inter­ests are most inter­laced. As coun­tries with a major influ­ence in the area, their har­mo­nious co-existence and favor­able inter­ac­tions will be con­ducive to regional peace, devel­op­ment and pros­per­ity,” Chi­nese for­eign min­istry spokesper­son Jiang Yu said at a reg­u­lar press brief­ing in Beijing.

The two coun­tries share more com­mon inter­ests and respon­si­bil­i­ties than dis­putes and con­flicts within the Asia-Pacific region, and the mutu­ally ben­e­fi­cial co-existence of China and the US depends on con­fi­dence and trust, she added.

The state­ments came a day after the end of the S&ED, dur­ing which the two sides have agreed to estab­lish a mech­a­nism of con­sul­ta­tions on Asia-Pacific affairs.

Source:
By Wang Zhaokun
Global Times
 

When Your Best Just Isn’t Good Enough…

As the keynote speaker of the Tea Party Con­ven­tion, Sarah Palin was poised to demon­strate that she’s a seri­ous player in the next pres­i­den­tial elec­tion. Instead, she looked bet­ter suited to be the next 9th grade class president.

She gave an elo­quent speech. It was full of the rah-rah top­ics that the con­ven­tion atten­dees were look­ing for. It was filled with one lin­ers aimed at the Democ­rats and Pres­i­dent Obama. She even joked about Pres­i­dent Obama’s use of TelePrompTers to give his speeches.  The quip was received with great applause, but it illus­trated how unpre­pared she is to run the country.

Is it smart to draw atten­tion to your opposition’s use of a device for read­ing speeches when you con­stantly refer to your notes dur­ing your speech? Palin’s head was buried in the podium for a lot of the speech so she could remem­ber her next talk­ing point. If you are try­ing to dif­fer­en­ti­ate your­self from your com­pe­ti­tion, you shouldn’t have a sim­i­lar weak­ness as the one you are point­ing out – espe­cially when yours appears more amateurish.

After the speech, there was a Q&A ses­sion. Nor­mally, this is just a show. The ques­tions are given in advance so the speaker can pre­pare their answers. The key being pre­pare in advance. One of the ques­tions was about her pri­or­i­ties as pres­i­dent. Was Palin ready? Of course she was! She had the five points writ­ten on her hand. Are you seri­ous? You want to be con­sid­ered to be the Pres­i­dent of the United States and you can’t remem­ber your agenda when in office?  

Most peo­ple suf­fer anx­i­ety when hav­ing to speak in pub­lic. To over­come this fear, you need to prac­tice and be famil­iar with your top­ics. Prepa­ra­tion is the key and when you are being paid $100,000 for your appear­ance, you owe it to the orga­ni­za­tion to give them your best.  Is this her best? Are we to believe she will be bet­ter pre­pared three years from now? 

Mayor of Soul

Los Ange­les Mayor Anto­nio Vil­laraigosa per­formed his best soul man imper­son­ation dur­ing the city’s launch event for African-American Her­itage Month. While hon­or­ing Chaka Kahn and Jamie Foxx, Vil­laraigosa swapped his nor­mal speech pat­tern for a black dialect. Maybe he was try­ing to be cool, but when you have to TRY to be cool, you nor­mally end up look­ing like a fool. In this case, Mayor Vil­laraigosa did just that.
While intro­duc­ing Chaka Kahn, Vil­laraigosa said, “She’s received 10 Grammy awards every­body. And a BET life­time achieve­ment awode. By the way, I’m at the BET awards every year held here in Los Ange­les.”
While intro­duc­ing Jamie Foxx, Vil­laraigosa said, “Is there any­thing Jamie Foxx can’t do? Mannnn … I love, I love that con­vo­sa­tion we had in our office a few min­utes ago. Because you know what — don’t think for the moment that this brother couldn’t run for office.”
While attempt­ing to be cool, Mayor Vil­laraigosa embar­rassed him­self, the city he rep­re­sents and offended the black com­mu­nity. Jamie Foxx rec­og­nized Villaraigosa’s approach and spoke in Span­ish dur­ing his accep­tance. Does this make Jamie Foxx look like a fool? Def­i­nitely not because Span­ish is an actual lan­guage. In fact, his knowl­edge of it makes him look even more impres­sive. What Vil­laraigosa was speak­ing was not. Vil­laraigosa was pre­tend­ing to be some­thing he isn’t (black) while appear­ing to be exactly what he is (a fool). If he would like to take a course on pro­to­col I would be more than happy to vol­un­teer my time.

Until next time,

Jules

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